I honestly should have seen this coming. It is late at night and Karen calls. She was absolutely intoxicated and after I gave the answer phrase she attacked with vengeance. “Where is my effing driver.” I immediately opened the client’s manifest, and this company had no more inbounds left for the evening. I ask the woman if she has a confirmation number and that created even more heat. This lady was on fire. She fumbles her phone and finally produces a confirmation number.
This company has 5-digit confirmation numbers that should start with 7. The number she reads off was 6 digits and started with a 4. It was most obvious she was calling the wrong company. Now before I continue, I apologize if I offend anybody, but I had to let her go with a bang. I acknowledge it is wrong to insult anybody for any reason, but, unfortunately, I am gifted. I promised myself years ago that I would be nice and never have to send an apology note or gift card again, but my disposition was weak this night and she was not my customers client.
I launched my dump strategy. I clearly said, “Ma’am, number 1, you have called the wrong company. Number 2, does your pimp know you speak to people this way?” I then hung up the phone and carried on thinking this minor roadblock was over. Moments later the phone rang two stations over and the body language of the dispatcher spoke volumes. He now was under attack. I do the Carol Burnett ear tug, that is a silent way to tell someone to put the call on hold.
He does so. I ask him if it is a drunk woman and he said, “You betcha.” However, she was on another limousine services line. On top of that she had a valid reservation. I tell him to claim we had been waiting for her, and we were just ready to call her ourselves. She screams “it is this efffing Google.” Turns out she was under the impression that she was expecting a bag meet. But that is beside the point. I do a Google search for company 2 and company 1 shows up as a sponsored link. This explains a lot. I do some more test searches and was floored by how many companies play off the names of others. I often get wrong numbers as we all do. I even get calls where people flat out admit they forgot which company they contracted with and have to play dial a limo to get home.
I understand transportation providers have a fiduciary duty to make the phone ring and fill the email inbox. However, are these advertisers stealing clients by deception or are the victims losing out because they aren’t protecting their identity online? In either case, a third-party profits to help the cowboys and hurt the Indians. The relationship between competition and conscience must have at least some defined parameters.
A couple days later I get a call from the operations manager at company two. He tells me the high-profile client has an attorney husband, and he claims that our call center implied his wife is a prostitute. I laugh at the horrible accusation and even offer him the recording of the call. I said, you know me well enough. I would never insult your clients.
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